Thursday, May 19, 2022

Josiah Utterbalm, Esquire

 Markwildyr.com, Post #216

Image Courtesy of freepik.com:


The story this week is one of the very few I’ve ever written from the omniscient viewpoint. In fact, I don’t ever recall doing one before and likely won’t ever do one again. For those who are not immersed in writer things, the omniscient view is just what it sounds like. The reader is aware of the thoughts, actions, and feelings of each character in the scene… simultaneously. As if the reader were… well, omniscient.

 

My favorite viewpoint is the first person, wherein the pronouns are I and me. Occasionally, I’ll write in the third person (pronouns he, him). In both of these, the reader should know only what the viewpoint person can see, hear, or intuit.

 

Why did I choose this unfamiliar (and unloved, at least on my part) viewpoint? Felt like it, that’s all. So here goes.

* * * * *

JOSIAH UTTERBALM, ESQUIRE

If one were to engage Josiah Utterbalm in conversation of any decent length, the phrase “men should be men, and women should be women” would likely be expressed one or more times. In fact, Josiah seemed to base his philosophy of life on that adage.

Josiah was a presentable man—some said comely—of around thirty or so years. An accountant, he was considered quite a catch—although an elusive one as he remained unmarried. He had, in fact. courted the reputation as a ladies’ man. And in his case, the plural form was correct. Most of the available unmarried women in his social set were quite happy to be seen in his company. According to some, the term “Esquire” was a form of disparagement awarded by a rival on a long-ago football field. Legend does not clarify whether it was uttered by foe or teammate.

Although beyond the age of sandlot baseball games and the such, he was quite often seen in his upscale neighborhood jogging shirtless in Speedo shorts, his torso lightly muscled, his buns tight, and his calves shapely. It didn’t take much imagination to see why stay-at-home wives peeked from behind lace curtains as he passed.

Strangely, gossip about his amorous exploits was sparing. The ladies exchanged stories about him, but there were few tales of scandalous consummations. Oh, there were plenty of whispers about passionate kisses—even some of the “French” type—and fevered pawing of the bosoms, but few descriptions of beddings.

Acquaintances of the masculine type abounded, but few seemed to be of a particularly close nature. Few seemed to be buddies—in terms of the times—and those who were tended to revolve, one mate growing close for a brief time, soon to be replaced by another… and so on. Although seemingly well-known in his circles, few fit the description of “boon companions.” Even so, be it on the tennis courts, the golf course, or the gym, everyone knew of his derision for deviants… ergo, his proclamation of “Men should be men, and….” Well, you know the rest.

One day, a stranger showed up in the gym, and Josiah, being of a curious and competitive nature, introduced himself.

“Josiah Utterbalm,” he said solemnly, extending a hand, quickly scanning the stranger as he did so. Younger than he was. Probably around twenty-five. Good muscles beneath his tight sweats. One of those men who was handsome-ugly, as Josiah described them. Meaning, of course, that their features were arranged differently, but the result was pleasing. In his experience, such men were attractive to women. “You new around here?”

“Tolliver Mann. Naw. New to the gym, but been in town for a year or so. How about you, Joe?”

“Josiah,” he corrected. “Most of my life.”

Josiah took the machine next to Tolliver, and the two watched one another surreptitiously as they worked weights. Each time one added pounds, the other did, as well.

Showoff, Josiah thought, although he said something different. “You handle that machine well.”

Supercilious jerk, Tolliver decided. “So do you.”

Despite that uncertain beginning, the two men grew toward one another, and before long, they were meeting on the handball court, for coffee, and, occasionally, for dinner. Tolliver amended his initial assessment of his new friend from supercilious jerk to simply supercilious. Josiah redefined his as demonstrative.

Things came to a crisis one day as they played driveway basketball at Josiah’s house. In a frenetic moment, they crashed into one another. To keep his balance, Josiah locked his arms around his friend and immediately experienced strange, unfamiliar thoughts racing through his mind. Shaken to his core, he found himself reluctant to let go. In the long moment they froze in one another’s arms, the older man felt his world tilt.

After they stepped apart, Josiah’s outrageous thoughts refused to go away. Nice. Felt good and safe in his embrace.

Tolliver’s reaction was quite different. Ugh, I got his sweat all over me.

The game went on, but at a more careful pace until it became desultory. Tolliver ended it, declaring he’d had enough. As they toweled excess sweat from their bodies, Josiah licked his lips uncertainly before speaking.

“You know, Tolliver, when we collided back there, I… I… well, I found it not at all unpleasing.”

I knew it! “What do you mean?” Tolliver played dumb.

“I’m not certain.” After struggling with himself for a second, Josiah blurted. “Dammit, man, have you ever considered—”

Toliver held up a hand, stopping him cold. “You know, Josiah, it’s always been my philosophy that a man should be a man and a woman should be a woman.

Before the afternoon was out, Tolliver was scrubbed from Josiah’s list of companions. Tolliver, for his part, couldn’t have been happier.

 * * * *

I take two things from this story: A man—make that a person—can life a lifetime and find himself in a situation where he is willing to try something that was unthinkable before that moment and that particular situation arose. And it doesn’t always work out.

 I am absolutely certain all who read this piece of flash fiction has experienced that sudden, unfamiliar pang whether they succumbed to it or not. And, of course, we’ve all experienced failure. Doesn’t mean you don’t stop trying.

 Wildyr Tales, an anthology of some of my stories, is now out in Ebook form with print book soon to follow. Hope you’ll check it out.

 My contact information is provided below in case anyone wants to drop me a line:

Website and blog: markwildyr.com

Email: markwildyr@aol.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/mark.wildyr

Twitter: @markwildyr

Now my mantra: Keep on reading. Keep on writing. You have something to say, so say it!

See you later.

  

Mark

New posts the first and third Thursday of the month at 6:00 a.m., US Mountain time.

New posts the first and third Thursday of the month at 6:00 a.m., US Mountain time.

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